I think I got a little ahead of myself last week when I stated that it was an interesting week. To say that this last week was interesting is the understatement of the century! I honestly don't know how I am functioning most days anymore. I feel like the "school. work. homework. sleep." routine has skyrocketed itself into auto-pilot mode and has left me in the dust. My mind is constantly running and most of my thoughts surround the idea of "what do I need to do next?" Although at times I want to play and have fun, I did want to get back into a routine and Heavenly Father has so graciously given me it. In saying that I also add these famous words, "You get what you asked for."
I honestly never would've imagined being able to handle a schedule like this before my mission. My first semester was all fun and no study; it's so different compared to now, which seems to be all study and no play. But it's a good thing for the most part, really. In the last week I feel that I have already grown a ton and that Heavenly Father is simply increasing my capacity day by day. If I take a moment to sit back and watch, it's actually quite incredible. I mean He takes someone like me, a normal 20 year old college student, He places them in an ever learning and growing environment, and day by day or even hour by hour, He stretches and enlarges their capability in order to accomplish the things that He asks of them. It's incredible, if you ask me! I love knowing that if I do all that He asks, He will give me the strength to accomplish all of my hopes and dreams.
Speaking of growing, I have learned a few lessons this week, especially about service, in many different forms this week. As most of you know from my last post, I now have a job. This last week I worked about 20 hours for them and it was a lot. But I think in anything that's a little stressful or almost too much, there are subtle lessons that we can learn. Even though I am getting paid to work for them, it has been the most rewarding and satisfying job I have ever had. And not only have I seen a difference in myself and the way I view my "job", but I have also seen a lot of unseen acts of service or small and simple acts of service that her family has provided.
Take her girls for instance. I watch the way they look at Crystal, the way they offer silent prayers in their hearts for her well-being.I hear the concern in their voices when they tell each other not to do things that might be more painful for her. I see their willingness (most of the time) to do the little things she asks of them, even when they don't want to. I see their desire to be on their best behavior so that she's happy. I can see their confusion, their uncertainty and sometimes their fear too, understandably, but miraculously I watch them push it aside for one reason or another. At their tender ages of 7, 10 and 14 they are incredibly enough, making imprints on my heart and my life.
Interestingly enough, I was pondering a lot about these things while making the 30-45 min trek to their house on Friday afternoon. I was going to go to the temple with one of my roommates so I tried to mentally and spiritually prepare myself by listening to church music today. It was during the quiet moments of the instrumental songs where I was still enough to, I believe, ponder on some wonderful thoughts through the spirit. It was during this time of reflection that I thought a lot about charity and how much I was learning about it at such a personal level.
I thought of the Savior and His own attribute of charity and love. I recognized once more, as I had several times on my mission, that the Lord needed me to learn this lesson, at this time in my life. It's amazing to me, how when He wants you to learn something, He places an opportunity right in front of your eyes so that you really can learn it. Heavenly Father wants us all to become like Him and our Savior. One of the biggest things that we really need to learn is this attribute about charity. It is the true test of our willingness to put ourselves aside and become worthy to enter into God's presence. And we can't just learn about it either. We literally have to apply it to our lives or, in the end, we could be considered as "nothing".These simple acts of charity were and are happening right in front of my eyes and some of them I have actually had the privilege to be a part of.
During the sacrament on Sunday I decided to focus on these aspects of service and charity, specifically in conference talks and I came across some quotes that I absolutely love. The first was, "Focusing on serving our brothers and sisters can guide us to make divine decisions in our daily lives and prepares us to value and love what the Lord loves. In so doing, we witness by our very lives that we are His disciples. When we are engaged in His work, we feel His spirit with us. We grow in testimony, faith, trust, and love." I can testify so much to this as I seen this take place in my life this last week. Even with a incredulously rigorous schedule, I am surviving. And not even surviving, but thriving! I have learned that the Lord really is helping be balance everything else in my life, as I have put Him and others in my life, first. Somehow everything has fallen into place by an unseen hand. It's His hand and He's doing it because I'm taking advantage of this incredible opportunity to serve. I love it!
I'd like to close with the words to the 5th verse of "Truth Reflect upon our Senses", "Charity and love are healing;/ These will I give the clearest sight;/ When I saw my brother's failing,/ I was not exactly right./Now I'll take no further trouble;/ Jesus' love is all my theme;/ Little motes are but a bubble/ When I think upon the beam." May we all strive to be a little more charitable and provide acts of service in our daily lives, whatever they be. I promise blessings from the Lord if we do so and I testify they are real.
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