Sunday, November 30, 2014

It's a Wonderful Life

How do I even wrap up this entire week? What an absolutely amazing week it was! I couldn't have been happier to be reunited with not just my immediate family again, but some of my extended family that I haven't seen for 2 or more years now. Can I just start off with saying how incredibly blessed I am? I recognize it for sure, but I love it when Heavenly Father shows me blatantly and clearly that that is truly the case.

I still had school Monday and Tuesday, as well as work on Monday so it was a little rough trying to keep everything going while my brain kept trying to switch to vacation mode. I had a major project due for my Comm class on Monday, and a speech that I had to give in my last class on Tues, so I knew I couldn't afford to slack at all. It was a little interesting and I wanted nothing more than to just get out of there, but I survived and did it to the best of my ability. And ironically enough, those two stressful days will save me a lot of stress in the next three weeks while the semester is wrapping up, so there's one more thing to be grateful for. Here's to hoping I can just take the next three weeks and only focus on finals so I can do really well in my classes....pray for me.

Tuesday after my last class and packing I hitched a ride with Angela (we'll call her my cousin). We traveled down to American Fork to meet up with my aunt and uncle so I could spend the night there. We had a little car trouble near North Ogden, but fixed it all up and were back on our way. I spent the night at Alan and Annette's just filling them in on life (per usual for every college kid that visits relatives, right? It's like the ultimate interrogation. Especially about your love life...don't even get me started on that one), it was nice. I love being with them and around my cousins...it's nice to make up for lost time.

We slept in Wednesday morning and then headed out to St. George where we spent the rest of our weekend. I was able to finish the 5 page essay I had to write for my online class so I was beyond happy to get that our of the way! I slept most of the way between texting my mom and our pit stop for food. We made it to Grandma's house after 3:30 and spent the next few hours visiting with Kirt and Amberly's family and also waiting for my family to arrive. I had some special one on one time with Grandma that I am really grateful for. Being the oldest grandkid of 21 doesn't usually come with much time like that. We were sitting in the kitchen just talking when I mentioned something about how my family should be there by now and just as I looked out the window, they pulled up. What a wonderful reunion! It seems so incredibly crazy to me that out of the entirety of 2014 I have now been with my family all of about 4 weeks! 4/52 weeks! Isn't that insane?! It was great for both Mom and I to not feel the weight of that though. Thanks to skyping and factiming once a week, as well as talking on the phone every day we've been able to make up a lot of lost ground.


Thursday through Saturday were pretty much a blur. We were in a frenzied sense of chaos, but it was oh so fun! We didn't have Matt's and Shiree's families there the entire week and we were also missing Kirt's family all of Thurs and almost all of Friday, but Grandma's house was still a rocking place to be. Thanksgiving itself, was a wonderful day, and I was able to help a lot in the kitchen this year, which I loved! Jess, Jocelyn, and I made Turkey looking cinnamon rolls for breakfast and then I spent the next part of the late morning/early afternoon preparing potatoes, pies, etc. etc. And then we ate a glorious meal and shared one thing that we were grateful for, it was all just wonderful.
We spent the majority of the rest of the day sleeping. For the first time since school started I took a nap at least once every day this last week and it was awesome!! 

Friday was spent taking family pictures and going to the temple with my parents. Both were such wonderful memories and I'm so incredibly grateful for the time we spent celebrating our family and also bringing other families together through the wonderful sealing power of the priesthood through temple ordinances. I love the temple and my family. 

Yesterday was filled with celebrating life. We threw Grandma a surprise birthday party since she just turned 70 a couple weeks ago. My job was to get her out of the house so we went and got pedicures which we both had to laugh at since we barely wear anything without socks anymore. But we had a wonderful time just talking and bonding. Then came the moment of truth whether or not we could pull off the biggest surprise yet. (Disclaimer: Grandma is such a rebel!) Despite several missed instructions and Grandma's unwillingness to listen to me, we pulled it off! She was surprised and felt so incredibly loved! Plus it was one of the most attended birthday parties I've ever been to... Just goes to show how many people's lives she's had an impact on. She's such a great example! 

As of right now I am heading back to Rexburg to finish my last two and a half weeks of school, but I can't help but reflect on all of the many blessings that Heavenly Father has downpoured upon me. I am so grateful for all of them. Even the blessings that come through trials and lessons I have to learn. I am beyond grateful for the gift of life I have been given. And as the beautiful musical we saw last night said, "It's a Wonderful Life!"

Savor Every Moment

Well I can happily say that was started as an extremely stressful week has ended quite nicely. And I am so beyond thrilled that I have to just push through two more days of school and one day of work and then I am free! Monday was a rough day as I took into account all my schooling, work, dating, etc., and it was really weighing down on me. But with the help of my mom, my roommates, my friends, and most importantly my Heavenly Father, I made it through...maybe by the skin of my teeth, but it happened. And the week went by relatively quickly too, which is way nice!

As far as the weekly highlights go, I'll pick maybe three or four from these last two weeks and go with that. So here it goes:

1. I skipped class!
Whoo! Haha, but seriously it was extremely needed. After my stress fest on Monday I realized that I needed to catch up on my life. So I skipped my first two classes and just got work done. We also had clean checks so I took the time to work on my homework, clean and actually get ready. It was a great morning and I felt so much better afterward. I went to my last class and then headed to work. Sometimes you just need those kind of catch up days. I felt like a college dropout though. Hence the picture. Haha :)


2. Dating!
Ahh, so this has been interesting. There's a guy that asked me out a week ago and he's got me a little smitten. It's been fun getting back into the dating scene, and getting to know him. I can't and won't divulge any details at this point until things progress or don't, but here's to hoping he likes me too.

3. Temple sessions!
These last two weeks my roommate and I have been able to attend the temple on Saturday and it has been such a blessing! I love the temple and the feeling of being home when I am there. I love going and feeling like Heavenly Father and Christ are welcoming me home. Ahh, it's so hard to explain how big of a blessing it is in my life, but I always feel like I can take on the world when I leave. This week especially was just incredible and I was in the best mood the whole day because of it. If you're not regularly attending the temple, I encourage you to prioritize it.


I was reading a talk during the sacrament today called "Savor Every Moment of Life" and I can't remember who it's by at the moment, but there was a part that really struck me. I was thinking about how sometimes we get into ruts of thinking, "Oh, my life would be so much better if 'this' had happened/was happening/would happen..." or "Well if we were dating" or "if I was married...", and the list can go on and on, but as I was reading and pondering this talk, I realized that I had picked it because of it's title for a reason. Anyone who knows me knows that sometimes I have a hard time calming myself down or not thinking about every possible detail concerning something. This was brought to a minimal while I was on my mission for some reason, but it's slowly starting to creep on me again since I've been back and I hate it. The title "Savor Every Moment of Life" stood out to me because I realized that Heavenly Father was telling me just to relax, trust in Him, and learn to be happy and content in my circumstances, whatever they may be.

There's a quote from this article that I would specifically like to share (although I recommend reading the entire talk). To give a little background (if I remember right), there's a couple who are attending some kind of fireside and what not, and the Hollands are speaking. Elder Holland is speaking and the man that was narrating said, "[I laughed to myself] at their amusing counsel to not 'march to an arbitrary drummer who seems to be beating a frenzied cadence to the passing years' and to trust in the timing of the Lord. But tears came to my eyes as I heard, 'Life ought to be enjoyed at every stage of our experience and should not be hurried and wrenched and truncated and torn to fit an unnatural schedule which you have predetermined but which may not be the Lord's personal plan for you at all,' and 'Don't wait to live...We of all people ought to savor every moment.'" I thought that was absolutely beautiful and I am so grateful to have learned a powerful lesson from the Lord. That no matter where I am, what I am doing, or where I am going, if I trust in Him and seek to follow His guidance and counsel in my life than I can truly learn to savor every moment of my life, whatever it may be, instead of waiting for other things to happen for my life to be "better".

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

It Will All Work Out

Happy Veteran's Day!

Oh the joys of college life. So many weird and interesting experiences. So many memories. And so many times when you want to hit your head against the wall...it's healthy thing, I promise. It puts my brain back in its place. This last week was crazy which I guess is my new normal, so what else do you expect?

In case any of you are wondering, one of the most entertaining things in the world is watching videos of people after they get their wisdom teeth taken out... I'm telling y'all, it'll make your day! 

Anyway, I like the whole highlight thing so we'll do that again. Here's the top three of my week: 

1. Working overnight
So N & E (I decided it would would be better not to expose the entire names of my boss's family anymore so the letters will suffice with a brief description) who are the dad and then the 10 year old daughter went to India this last week for 10 days and since they were gone C asked me stay a few days with them until her mom got there. So Monday through Wednesday night I was able to stay at the house and help them out a little more with the nightly routine. B was so cute with me and reminded me so much of Sierra and has multiple times since they're the same age. Everytime she went to leave to go dance or anywhere she would hurry and say "love you!" before running out the door.  I flippin love that little girl and she really knows how to win my heart! So grateful for the tender mercies Mom referred to when we were talking about how blessed I am to have that job and be so close to them, especially B since I can't be home right now. 

2. Les Miserables 
I finally saw Les Mis! I know, small accomplishment, but now I finally understand what everyone is talking about! Haha We're reading the abridged  version for my humanities class and before I read it I kinda wanted to have a good background/idea about what the story was actually about before just diving right in. 

And the verdict is (drum roll please!)...
 I LOVED IT!  

I absolutely loved it! I thought it was incredible and totally. Totally worth the watch in case you're wondering! 

3. I Cover
Saturday night my roommates Amanda and Kylie came with me to I Cover on campus. It was a big concert almost like battle of the battles between and it lasted 3 hours! Plus there was a dance afterward! We were a little late, but it was alright because we were there a long time!  Then we stayed at the dance until about 1030 before heading home. It was way fun and I absolutely loved spending time with some of my roomies. And I can't forget that I loved the fact that I got to hear a super attractive male accapella group 😍 definitely on my top ten favorite things list. 

I also was thinking a lot about my favorite scripture in Proverbs 3:5-6 which talks about trusting in the Lord. It dawned on me as I was thinking about this though how often Heavenly Father has blessed me in my life when I've trusted in Him. Reviewing the choices that I've made in my life and how much the Lord has guided me and helped me. I also had a huge realization that there is nothing in my life that I should worry about because if I trust in Him and keep all of His commandments then everything will work out. It will always work out. So stop worrying, don't fret, trust in God and it will all work out.


Sunday, November 2, 2014

Highlights :)

Here we are again! Here's the wrap up of the past couple weeks. I can't believe it's already Sunday again though, like for real! Only 7 more Fridays til Christmas, guys. We can do it!


So that I don't write a novel in one blog post we'll do some HIGHLIGHTS! Ready? :)

#1 The Piano Guys
Last Saturday I had the amazing opportunity to see The Piano Guys in concert. I went by myself cause no one else wanted to pay for the tickets, but honestly I'm kind of glad I did. Being there by myself allowed me to completely focus on the emotional roller coaster the show put me through. Haha I mean I know that sounds a little pathetic, but I have seriously never been so moved before by a concert. I laughed, I cried, and I felt the spirit. It was so entertaining and I absolutely loved Jon and Steven's banter back and forth, especially since Steven plays the cello, not a piano. Overall, I am so grateful for the chance to go and I love that I had such a wonderful experience. Definitely in the top 5 of awesome stuff this semester!

#2 Yellowstone Trip
On Monday I went to Yellowstone for the first time in my entire life. I've heard people talk about it my entire life, but I've never really been interested in going. Thankfully, for my comm class we had the privilege of going this last week, and let me just say it was absolutely beautiful! We left at 7 a.m. from the school and by the time we arrived in West Yellowstone around 8:30 it was clear to all of us it was going to be a winter wonderland kinda day. The snow had fallen the night before and left a white glistening glow. It was almost as if none of us really wanted to walk anywhere where the majestic picture perfect winter land would be devastated in any way.

The morning was a little rough since we didn't know whether we were going to be able to get into the park or not, but around 11:30 they finally informed us that the southeastern part of the park would be opened after all. We were excited to finally see what we had gone all the way up there for. It took time and various stops, but I became more enthralled and genuinely enchanted each step of the way. It was absolutely beautiful and I am so glad I was able to go.



Friday, October 31, 2014

My Works

Here are some of my works that I have written since being back at school. Enjoy :)

MORMON MISSIONARIES STUCK IN THE MIDDLE
SIPALAY CITY, Philippines—A 20-year-old sister missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and her companion were caught up to their knees in trouble while traveling to the nearby island, Nauhang, last Wednesday night.
Megan Wallace, and her companion, Philippine native 23-year-old, Lorna Vargas, were headed to the island on what natives refer to as a “baroto” or a small wooden boat that carries them across the river that flows into the ocean, in order to teach families there about Jesus Christ. Once on the water they realized that the low-tide had already come in, therefore revealing the small patch of land that peaked through the water. “Even as a normal sized American, I am still a lot larger than these Filipinos, these things are not made for larger body structures like mine,” Wallace explained, “I knew that I needed to get out of the boat and help push. There was no way I was going to let these tiny people use all their force just to push me across.”
And that is exactly what she did. Wallace told her companion, Vargas, to stay inside the boat as she helped the rower, Virginia Pelinggon, Nauhang native, lift up the boat over the patch of land in order to return once again to deeper waters. Vargas said of this experience, “Sister Wallace was fearless. She didn’t care that she was wearing a skirt, that she would get soaking wet, or that I wasn’t helping. She just went for it and helped Virginia get us back on the water.”
“It was an unbelievable experience! I mean for sure nothing you would ever see me doing in Arizona,” Wallace said with a chuckle, “I believe in once-in-a-lifetime experiences and that’s exactly what happened to me. I may have been soaking wet from not jumping into the boat as soon as we hit water, but I was still just giddy thinking of how I was going to tell my family about it!”
Wallace and Vargas voluntarily leave home for a period of 18 months to serve in a certain mission, or place, wherever they are assigned in the world to teach others about Jesus Christ and His gospel. Wallace, originally from Tucson, Arizona, U.S.A. and Vargas, from Bataan, Luzon, both shared their excitement and enthusiasm for helping others come closer to Christ and feel of His love. They stated that, “being a missionary is unlike anything else. We wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
Wallace and Vargas will both be returning home after their 18 months in August 2014. If interested in learning more about the LDS or Mormon Church, visit Mormon.org or visit the chapel on Mambaroto heading to Hinoba-an.
----
The Nametag


In July of this year, on a normal preparation day as a full-time missionary in the Philippines, my companion and I were bringing our laundry to a member that washed it for us, since they hand wash clothes here, before we went to email. It was a rainy day, which created a problem for us to walk with our laundry bags as we normally did, so we rode a few tricycles (a form of public transportation that is a motorcycle attached to a metal sidecar) to the member’s house and then from their house, before we finally showed up at the internet shop. The only problem was that when we finally showed up I came to the startling realization that my nametag was gone! The magnet had fallen off my shirt onto the tile and made a clink sort of sound which attracted my attention and as I reached for where the front part of my nametag should have been on my shirt, I realized that the black part of my nametag with my name on it was nowhere to be found! I freaked out and tried to control my emotions, but it was admittedly hard considering that I had worn that nametag since day one of the mission and now suddenly it was gone.
 I couldn't find it so finally we just resolved to go all the way back to our apartment to get my other nametag that the MTC had provided. I really did have to hold myself back from crying because of the sentimental value that had come through months of hard work while wearing it. My initially white engraved name had turned slightly yellow from the hours walking in the sun and from all the dirt, a small chip had been taken out of the upper right hand corner when it had accidently smacked against the ground, the name of the Church was slowly beginning to fade and if you held the nametag up in different angles to the light you could see hairspray spots from when I could actually style my hair and use hairspray to make it stay curly or straight, all evidence to me of the many moments, experiences and trials I had been through in the 16 months I had been in the service of God. This was more than a just a normal black nametag.
So of course I resorted to the only possible and probable thing to do at that time. I prayed. I prayed that it would be found and properly returned to me. But I also prayed that for whatever reason, if it was not to be given back to me, that I would be able to accept it and be ok with His will. Probably about a week and half to two weeks went by and still, nothing. I just resolved to the fact that it wasn't going to be found after all and that I just needed to move on.
 Then two Saturdays after the incident we were sitting at a baptism for the elders and one of the members asked me, "Sister Wallace, is that a new nametag?" I told him that sadly it was, since my other one was lost. He then quite shockingly said to me that he knew, because the old one was at his house! According to him, a tricycle driver found it in his tricycle the same day that I lost it. He knew a guy that was a member so he gave it to him. That member happened to be the one that talked to me the day of the baptism and informed me of the good news.
He hadn’t brought it to the baptism that day, but promised that the following morning at church, he would bring it. Sure enough, as promised, when the member saw my companion and I upon entering the chapel, he reminded his daughter that she had my nametag and told her to give it to me. I felt so relieved and happy as I finally received once again, something that had become so valuable to me. I was happy beyond words and felt again that Heavenly Father truly had heard and answered my prayers. I expressed my gratitude to them and told them that I felt like I was going to cry. They laughed at me, but I was literally almost in tears because of the excitement I felt. My nametag had become a treasured possession and a sentimental part of my mission experience, one that I still have displayed today to remind me all of the wonderful lessons I learned and the trials and blessings I received to learn them.
-----
 Creations

As I stepped outside I noticed the gentle breeze moving swiftly and fluidly without interruption or interference. Stronger gusts of wind would rise and hit me with a gentle force and then return to its calm nature again. It was late afternoon, mid-evening and I had just finished work. The 30 minute walk back and forth from campus to work and then from work to my apartment was always a calming experience for me as I truly experienced the serenity and peacefulness of the calm and quiet movements of God’s creations. I was often drawn to think about other things only to have a whiff of some familiar or unfamiliar smell, or a bird’s cawing catch my attention again and bring me back into reality.
            Cars filled with people whizzed past me, some noticing me and others not taking the time. I pitied them. For as I was beholding the remarkableness of a universe and earth that day by day simply moved through the motions seemingly without a master to do everything for them, they just simply moved along. Unaffected by the soft singing in the trees, the light that caught the fields making it appear as if honey was being spread all over the land, the leaves that were falling, sure evidence that the seasons were changing and another season of pumpkins and leaves changing from a forest green to auburn reds, sunset yellows, and burnt oranges.
            The swiftness of the wind caught my attention again once again pulling me from my thoughts. This time the wind had a slight crisp to it. As if it knew what I was thinking and was reassuring me, that indeed, the shortened fall of Rexburg would soon turn into a blizzardy, winter solstice in such a short amount of time. Although there was a slight crisp it was only evident as the end of the gusts caught hold of my arms, as if reaching its fidgeting fingers to grasp me, not wanting to continue on its way. As it drifted from me I was again felt the familiar warmth return to the hanging air around me and felt the familiarness of what I had been soaking in since arriving.
            As I neared the temple grounds my focus and attention shifted. I was used to looking for opportunities to capture its natural beauty with God’s perfect landscape of design in the background. I was not disappointed as I stepped closer and closer, searching for the perfect moment, and then something caught my eye.
            I noticed the sky seemed different today. The sun wasn’t quite setting yet, as it had been in other days past, so the vivid pinks, oranges, and purples were not amidst. But the sky was radiating a cobalt lighting blue peeking through the contrasting white and gray clouds that seemed to envelop the entirety of the atmosphere. It was as if the gods were having a pillow fight, scattering the goose feathers across the heavens as the atmosphere here on earth so gently caught them and placed them in our view.
            As much as the colors seemed to dance in front of my vision, I saw something else peeking through the clouds. They gradually departed as I saw golden beams stretching forth, as if waking up from a restful sleep. These beams stretched farther than I could see, but filled the sky as if God was stretching forth His arms out to me. As the golden honey sunbeams peaked more and more from their hiding place I was witnessing a beautiful testament and a reassurance that God was there. The clouds continued to move, as if in formation, as I reached my destination filled with hope and a new sense of appreciation for the creations from God’s hands.


 

Thursday, October 23, 2014

The Differences

So since I'm a super slaker and didn't post last week, this week's going to be an extra long recap of the last two weeks...how lucky are you guys?! Are you ready? Cause I sure am!

Well I feel like last week was already so long ago! Time is just flying by and it's hard to believe I've almost been here for a "transfer" already (Once a missionary, always a missionary)! I had the amazing and absolutely wonderful privilege of playing hooky at school and skipping work to road trip it down to Utah to see some of my most favorite people in the whole world. I don't know what it is about the mission life, but I think it is absolutely amazing how fast two complete strangers can become best friends over a short, 6 week period! Alora Davis was my MTC comp and we were only together for the first 6 weeks of the mish. In fact, we were pretty much on opposite ends of the island as I traveled all over Negros and she stayed close to Bacolod. The only times we saw each other regularly were when we both became Sister Training Leaders and had to travel to Bacolod once a month. It was as clear then though, as it is now, that no matter how short amount of time our companionship was, a beautiful friendship was born.

 And that was extremely evident as soon as we were reunited again last weekend! I stayed with her and her family Thurs-Sat morning and it was so much fun! Alora's mom sent me stuff almost every week while we were MTC, but finally being able to meet her and the rest of the clan confirmed what I had felt through the gifts and notes, that I was already a part of their family. I felt right at home! They took me in right away and it was just fun being around them. The funniest and coolest part too was being able to talk in Ilonggo with Alora knowing that no one else understood us (That actually worked out really well on our double date Fri. night too, but I'll get to that).

Before getting to that whole date thing, I'll do a quick Thurs. recap. I got to Lehi around 3:30pm where Alora picked me up. We went to lunch at one of her favorite places,Shaun's Smokehouse, and I ordered a 6 oz. teriakyi burger by recommendation! It was delish, but man, was I full after that! We then went home to just hang out before heading to Cambria's wedding reception. Alora's younger sister, Breanna, went with us and we headed up to Syracuse. When we got there we saw my trainer, Lydia Bushman and fellow batchmates Alyssa Shakespear and Kaitlin Potter, with their men, which was fun! Then a little later some elders from the mish, Curtis Eagen and Landon Garner showed up. We chatted and after the going through the line (Cambria looked gorgeous!), we decided we were hungry so we went to dinner. It was hilarious catching up and reminiscing about the mish. Man, those were some crazy times...

Friday we stayed busy pretty much the entire day! We got up in the morning and had super healthy pancakes with blueberries (these people are health nuts...that's the only thing doesn't mix well with us (;) and then headed to the hospital. We went to the hospital to see Amber, Alora's sister-in-law, and also to get her niece, Skylie. I got to play aunt for the rest of the day when she finally warmed up to me! It was fantastic! Amber wasn't feeling well at all so we left pretty soon after we got there. I got some cute snapshots of Sky and Alora though...cute, cute.


When we came back to Alora's house we decided that we wanted to on a shopping spree so we headed out again...with Sky! Can I just tell you how crazy it is to take a two year old shopping with you?! Man, that was a hilarious experience for sure! We got some cute clothes for our date though, so well worth it.

The date. Oh, the date. Haha :) Let's just say there were a lot of firsts! First blind date, first date to a haunted house, first time my date kinda got stolen (we'll save that for another time :p), and my first date after the mish. It was interesting for sure and a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing! So long story short, we went to eat at Cafe Rio in Draper and just kept adding to our group. By the time we all headed to the haunted circus we were a group of 11! We already had our tickets so we just went right in, but the problem was that the line to get in the actual haunted part was ridiculously long and we ended up waiting to get in there for over an hour! But let me tell you, it was worth it! Now I'm not usually scared concerning stuff like that, but this one was actually a little frightening! I was pleasantly surprised, honestly! The costumes and makeup were pretty impressive, but mostly all the other stuff freaked me out like the strobe lights, smoke and spinning walkways. Haha, but either way, I enjoyed it a lot.

Saturday we slept in a little and then once we got up I got ready to leave. We headed over to Rue 21 so I could return a ripped shirt I bought and to meet Alan and Annette since I stayed with them Saturday night. It was hard saying goodbye to Alora again. I feel like that weekend really strengthened our relationship and reaffirmed to me that she was put in my life for a reason! I love that girl!

We pretty much just hung out at Alan's house until Ashlan and I went to see Meet the Mormons. I told her I would come down from Rexburg to go with her so she had to wait for me and she did! We had fun just bonding and laughing our heads off over stupid things. I'm blessed to be close with her! And I'm blessed to live so close to Alan and Annette now that I can go down and visit whenever! Every time I have to leave Logan (10) always says, "Wait, you're leaving?!" with a horribly sad look on his face. It makes me laugh, but it also makes me feel happy, especially when he ends with, "But I don't want you to leave! I want you to stay forever!" I love that whole family! So many fun memories!

On a more spiritual note, lately it seems as if my life has been getting a little out of hand. I've been getting so caught up in other non important things that it seems as if my priorities have been taking a backseat. I keep saying that I'm trying to get into a routine and have a schedule like the one I had on my mission where I was always doing something meaningful, which allowed the spirit to always be with me, but for some reason I'm not working hard enough to get there. I've noticed a huge difference in this last week compared to the other ones. My prayers were becoming less sincere, my scripture study was almost nonexistent and my temple attendance really was nonexistent. I could blame it on my schedule or the fact that I'm trying to be a good student and keep good grades, but you all know me. And since you know me and my experiences, then you know that I recognized right away that I needed to stop any sort of excuses and not start blaming other things, but that I really needed to change. I was sitting in sacrament meeting with Alan and Annette's family last week while pondering all of these thoughts. I knew I needed to change something and I knew it needed to be immediately. So after packing up all my stuff on Sunday and saying goodbye, I left with the resolve to "try a little harder to be a little better" in the upcoming week.

Starting Monday and continuing today, I wake up about a half hour to an hour earlier to make sure I have time to read my scriptures before doing more homework or getting ready for class. It's rough sometimes, to pull myself out of bed, but it's been one of the biggest blessings that has happened to me since I've been home. I have become more thoughtful in my prayers, especially concerning letting the Lord lead me to wherever He needs me to go, doing whatever He needs me to do. AND I went to the temple! I was tired and it was hard to stay awake, but I felt the Lord's spirit and I felt rejuvenated. Each day hasn't been incredibly easy and I'm not feeling super energized all the time; my attention span regarding homework hasn't magically gotten longer nor am I suddenly excelling at everything, but I can tell the difference. I can see the difference in my attitude, my problem solving skills, my drive, and most of all, in my increase in strength and ability to handle all of the things I go through every day. It's been incredible to feel like I am finally living the gospel of Jesus Christ, that I fought so hard for others to understand and live. I am a living testimony that these things are true. I can see the differences and they are changing my life.