New Year, New Me

I don't even know where to begin with this one. It's been a whirlwind of the last couple of weeks and I can hardly believe that the last time I wrote was last year. What an incredible and interesting start the beginning of this new year has been for me. Who would've thought I'd spend New Year's Day traveling through the whole state of Utah visiting all of the people I was supposed to before Jess and I got caught in that crazy snowstorm (I'll save that story for later). Anyway, I'm grateful for the start of a new year to also work on a new me.

We always talk about New Year's Resolutions and how most people, as they grow older, stop making them because they feel like by the end of January there's not going to be a point to them anymore, etc. etc. I think that kind of attitude is probably why people don't really accomplish them in the first place, you know? The only way you're going to be doomed for failure is if you don't even try. With that in mind, I think it's important that we all change our attitudes about goal setting and accomplishing those goals and dreams, before we can ever actually motivate ourselves to do them.

The first time I ever sat down and contemplated the things I wanted to change about myself or my behavior, and actually took the time to write them down afterward, was on my mission. I know that there are a lot of reasons why Heavenly Father needed me to serve a mission, but one of the absolute biggest ones, was He needed me to change. The goals that I set were a lot more mission-minded, obviously, but that doesn't deter from the fact that they were all things that I needed to realize and change about myself. 

Since coming home I've set a few goals, but have not been super good about writing them down or actually following through with them, which has been a little diappointing. For those of you that regularly read my blog, you remember how incredibly busy I was last semester, sometimes so much so that it was just plain overwhelming. I think that being busy doesn't always mean we're accomplishing something worthwhile. Heavenly Father never intended for us to be so busy that we never have time for Him. Luckily I was able to figure that out soon enough to make reading my scriptures a priority, even if it was at 6 in the morning. He blesses us for the little sacrifices we make in His behalf, or in other words, in order to keep His commandments. 

Since coming back up to Rexburg this semester, I have moved into a new apartment with Jessica and 3 other roommates, I have my own room, and I have received the calling of FHE group leader for my apartment, along with one from the guys, and one from the other girls' apartment. This semester I am off track and have pretty much the entire morning to myself before I go to work. It's been nice to relax a little, especially after last semester, but I've also been able to accomplish a lot of goals, which is making me really happy. And since I haven't written down yet what my goals are I guess I'll just list them right here:

1. Be Healthier

>Excercise Mon-Sat for at least 30 mins

>Cut down portion size

>Drink more water

>Lessen snacks/no junk food

>Prepare to enter a 5k by the end of this year

2. Become More Spiritual

>Read and study my scriptures for at least 30 mins per day

>Study upcoming lessons

>Incorporate Preach My Gospel

>Attend the temple at least once a week

>Apply to become a temple worker

>Follow promptings

>Attend institute

3. Become More Service Oriented

>Pray for service opportunities

>Actively search out opportunities to serve others

>Make visiting teaching more than just a thing to check off

>Follow every prompting

>Go above and beyond at work

4. Become a Better Me

>Read my scriptures every day to be in a good mood

>Study the Christlike attributes and pick one a week to work on

>Practice/Excercise my talents 

-Piano

-Singing

-Public speaking

-Blog writing

>Help out around the apartment/help my roommates

>Surrond myself with positive and uplifting things and people

Those are the main focuses this year with the ideas of how I am going to accomplish them. They're not going to be easy, but it's definitely possible. And with God's help, they're nearly non impossible. It's fantastic. This year is the year to apply everything that He had me learn on my mission, and to really, actively focus on allowing me to become the best me I can possibly be. The Lord has a plan for me, and although, at times, ok, most of the time, I don't know what that plan is or what He has in store for me now, I know that it's important to keep on keeping on. In other words, I need to keep trusting in Him and put Him first in all things I do. I know if I do this that His promises will be fulfilled. I don't know when, and although I want them to happen now, I understand that God's timing is everything, and I need to just keep doing what He's asked of me. 

I have an interview this Tues. with the temple presidency to become an ordinance worker. I started feeling that that was something I needed to do towards the end of last semester, especially being off track this sesmester. I felt more strongly about it when I attended Stake Conference and one of the counselors in the temple presidency encouraged all of us that were endowed to volunteer or become ordinance workers. I told my parents that as soon as I got back up here I would schedule an interview with my bishop. Then when I received my father's blessing before leaving to come back up here, I was once again reminded of working there. As soon as I talked to him he was more than happy to help. He interviewed me, sent me to the stake presidency's office, and submitted the application right away. I hadn't heard anything until last night when they called me to schedule my interview with them. I cannot even begin to express how excited I am that this is actually happening. It's something that I have felt strongly that I need to do, and I can't express my gratitude enough that God has helped me to be worthy and ready to follow another call to serve. I can't wait to be able to serve in the House of the Lord. 

Wrapping It Up

It's been two weeks since I celebrated my 21st birthday by taking two finals, finishing three essays, deep cleaning pretty much my entire room, the hallway and the laundry room, and let's not forget packing all of my earthly belongings that I still hadn't packed yet. Oh, the joy. But even though that sounds rather depressing my birthday celebration actually spanned out over several days because of the wonderful friends and family I have. It was so nice feeling so loved no matter how far away I was from my family. My roommates took me out to dinner at my favorite restaurant the Saturday before, the day before, my wonderful friend, Cheryl invited us to their house for pizza and cake. And let me just add that this was not just any cake. It was a chocolate cake with chocolate ganache, topped with m&ms, surronded by kit-kats(!!)...YEAH. And my actual birthday was not a disappointment either, as my roommates made me a sign, and decorated my floor with balloons....it was cute. When I finally returned home on Wed. we went out to dinner to celebrate with my best friends, Brie and Jace, and some new-founded friends, the Allsup family. I was just completely overwhelmed by the love this year (That's also disregarding the 100+ friends of mine that wished me a happy birthday in some way, shape or form...WOW)...to say I am blessed is the understatement of the century.

These last two weeks have been somewhat relaxing, but more lazy than anything than else, and still ridiculously busy while not doing anything (how is that even possible?). There has been a lot of downtime and just hanging around watching tv (it's kind of sad that I still do it because I have nothing else to do even when I don't really enjoy it), but there have been some positives that have come of it too: (these are in no way in order of importance):

1. SLEEPING IN

Seriously, I know I was a missionary and that I learned the value of the whole "early to bed, early to rise" thing, but there's seriously sometime when this girl just needs to sleep. I have thoroughly enjoyed not having to set my alarm and just letting my body recouperate from all the horrible things that I have done to it this past semester. Haha

2. Spending Christmas with my family

I will admit to the fact that it's been hard realizing that last Christmas I was doing something with my life. I was productive and actually helping people. My whole life all I've wanted to do is make a difference and I finally felt that I was accomplishing that dream while serving in the Philippines. I mean, honestly, what better way to celebrate and acknowledge the birth of our Savior than bringing souls unto Him through the waters of baptism? There's just nothing like it. Nothing.

But there was something different this year that I could appreciate and that was being with my family. As many of you know and remember, almost 2 years ago I nearly lost my mom, Jess and Austin in a car accident. Thankfully, today I don't have to wonder what my life would be like without them. I am grateful that as we celebrated Christmas this year, that all of us were here; that we could be together and enjoy each other's company. We spent so many hours just doing things together playing games, teasing each other, making gingerbread houses, etc. etc. There's nothing else like family or being with them either.

3. Seeing old friends

Since I left for my mission in the middle of the school year there were a lot of friends that were still off at school and I was unable to see them before I left. Most of my friends that I have been able to reconnect with over the past two weeks I haven't seen in over 2 years! It's crazy to believe, but I am just so happy that I was able to see them and rekindle our friendships. I'm thankful that I have made such wonderful friends no matter where God has sent me.

4. Lots of thinking time

Haha, the title pretty much explains it. Being home and having all this downtime has given me a lot of time to reflect on my life, who I've become, what I want to do with my life, and who I want to become. It's put a lot of things into perspective and caused me to reflect back a lot on my mission, and the whole purpose of it. I've recognized that there are a lot of things that I need to improve on for one reason or another, mostly because I've been slacking on things I know I shouldn't be slacking on. I can feel the difference though, and I recognize the loss. This has helped me to recognize how I can improve and change my schedule, how I can budget and save my money better, and what I need to do in order to become a better person. So lots of good thinking. And lots of resolutions. I am determined to accomplish them. Better yet, I will accomplish them.

So I guess since Jess and I will be driving all day tomorrow that this is also my last post of the year. 2014 has been so good to me. It's a big toss up between 2013 and '14 what year I grew and learned more, but as of right now we'll say it's a toss up and they pretty much tied. I spent 8 out of the 12 months of this year doing the hardest and most rewarding thing I've ever done or will ever do in my life. Giving those months and almost all of '13 was literally the most incredible experience, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I am blessed beyond measure with the capacity that Heavenly Father gave me to serve. He's blessed me in more ways than I can even begin to express or hope to acknowledge. 

So here's to you, 2014! Thanks for all of the things you've taught me, all the experiences that you've given me, and for the chance to look back on you and smile. I now look forward to another year, another chance to learn, grow and become. 2015, be good to me. I promise to make you the best you can be in return <3

"Hey, Hey, Hey, Goodbye"

You know something that I really hate? Endings. I hate endings of a good movie or book, I hate the end of friendships or relationships, and I hate endings of semesters of school or chapters in my life. And I hate the most associated word concerning endings; I hate goodbyes. I hate saying it, I hate hearing it, and most of all I hate the meaning behind. But in saying that I also recognize the importance of it in the whole scheme of this earthly life.

It's the end of yet another semester of school. I can't believe how fast these last 3 and a half months have passed by, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised. As I sit here writing this and pondering on the last 3 months, I have roommates packing their clothes and stuff, roommates finishing homework and preparing for their finals, all while another roommate is silently packing up the Christmas tree that has adorned our living room since Nov. 1st.

One thing that I can really appreciate about all of this though is that there are people that understand how I feel. There are those that dread endings just as much as I do. And there is a real purpose and spiritual reasoning behind all of it that I never really understood or realized until at the very end of my mission I was reminded by my ward mission leader. My dear friend, Pres. Uchtdorf said it best, "In light of what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder that whenever we face the bitter endings of life, they seem unacceptable to us? There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings.Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our destiny." 

So in light of what he said, I must say that I am grateful, in a way, that my soul doesn't look forward to and actually dreads endings, because in this way I recognize that I am eternal being; that I always have been and I always will be. I wasn't made for endings and I feel it deeply every time I do experience one. 

I just have to say though, what a semester to remember! I was a little nervous/scared before coming back about what to expect. I was nervous to have random roommates and I was nervous that I wouldn't have money and that I would have to  I expected to be a better student and to study harder and longer because of my mission. I also expected to make tons of new friends, to relax a little, and to attend the temple every week. I can't say that I accomplished all of those necessarily, but I can say that although there have been a few ups and downs, and although this has been way busier than I would have ever expected, it's been amazing. I couldn't have asked for better semester being back from my mission. I have learned so much and grown so much more than I could have hoped. So this is my way of saying THANK YOU to anyone and everyone that came into my life this semester, whether for a brief moment or for the entirity of it. I thank those that may not even think that they need thanks because even if things may not have ended how I would have hoped, I still learned a lot from the experiences that I had. So once again, thank you.

And with that, here's to hoping for a relaxing break, a wonderful Christmas, and an amazing NEW YEAR.

It's a Wonderful Life

How do I even wrap up this entire week? What an absolutely amazing week it was! I couldn't have been happier to be reunited with not just my immediate family again, but some of my extended family that I haven't seen for 2 or more years now. Can I just start off with saying how incredibly blessed I am? I recognize it for sure, but I love it when Heavenly Father shows me blatantly and clearly that that is truly the case.

I still had school Monday and Tuesday, as well as work on Monday so it was a little rough trying to keep everything going while my brain kept trying to switch to vacation mode. I had a major project due for my Comm class on Monday, and a speech that I had to give in my last class on Tues, so I knew I couldn't afford to slack at all. It was a little interesting and I wanted nothing more than to just get out of there, but I survived and did it to the best of my ability. And ironically enough, those two stressful days will save me a lot of stress in the next three weeks while the semester is wrapping up, so there's one more thing to be grateful for. Here's to hoping I can just take the next three weeks and only focus on finals so I can do really well in my classes....pray for me.

Tuesday after my last class and packing I hitched a ride with Angela (we'll call her my cousin). We traveled down to American Fork to meet up with my aunt and uncle so I could spend the night there. We had a little car trouble near North Ogden, but fixed it all up and were back on our way. I spent the night at Alan and Annette's just filling them in on life (per usual for every college kid that visits relatives, right? It's like the ultimate interrogation. Especially about your love life...don't even get me started on that one), it was nice. I love being with them and around my cousins...it's nice to make up for lost time.

We slept in Wednesday morning and then headed out to St. George where we spent the rest of our weekend. I was able to finish the 5 page essay I had to write for my online class so I was beyond happy to get that our of the way! I slept most of the way between texting my mom and our pit stop for food. We made it to Grandma's house after 3:30 and spent the next few hours visiting with Kirt and Amberly's family and also waiting for my family to arrive. I had some special one on one time with Grandma that I am really grateful for. Being the oldest grandkid of 21 doesn't usually come with much time like that. We were sitting in the kitchen just talking when I mentioned something about how my family should be there by now and just as I looked out the window, they pulled up. What a wonderful reunion! It seems so incredibly crazy to me that out of the entirety of 2014 I have now been with my family all of about 4 weeks! 4/52 weeks! Isn't that insane?! It was great for both Mom and I to not feel the weight of that though. Thanks to skyping and factiming once a week, as well as talking on the phone every day we've been able to make up a lot of lost ground.

Thursday through Saturday were pretty much a blur. We were in a frenzied sense of chaos, but it was oh so fun! We didn't have Matt's and Shiree's families there the entire week and we were also missing Kirt's family all of Thurs and almost all of Friday, but Grandma's house was still a rocking place to be. Thanksgiving itself, was a wonderful day, and I was able to help a lot in the kitchen this year, which I loved! Jess, Jocelyn, and I made Turkey looking cinnamon rolls for breakfast and then I spent the next part of the late morning/early afternoon preparing potatoes, pies, etc. etc. And then we ate a glorious meal and shared one thing that we were grateful for, it was all just wonderful.

We spent the majority of the rest of the day sleeping. For the first time since school started I took a nap at least once every day this last week and it was awesome!! 

Friday was spent taking family pictures and going to the temple with my parents. Both were such wonderful memories and I'm so incredibly grateful for the time we spent celebrating our family and also bringing other families together through the wonderful sealing power of the priesthood through temple ordinances. I love the temple and my family. 

Yesterday was filled with celebrating life. We threw Grandma a surprise birthday party since she just turned 70 a couple weeks ago. My job was to get her out of the house so we went and got pedicures which we both had to laugh at since we barely wear anything without socks anymore. But we had a wonderful time just talking and bonding. Then came the moment of truth whether or not we could pull off the biggest surprise yet. (Disclaimer: Grandma is such a rebel!) Despite several missed instructions and Grandma's unwillingness to listen to me, we pulled it off! She was surprised and felt so incredibly loved! Plus it was one of the most attended birthday parties I've ever been to... Just goes to show how many people's lives she's had an impact on. She's such a great example! 

As of right now I am heading back to Rexburg to finish my last two and a half weeks of school, but I can't help but reflect on all of the many blessings that Heavenly Father has downpoured upon me. I am so grateful for all of them. Even the blessings that come through trials and lessons I have to learn. I am beyond grateful for the gift of life I have been given. And as the beautiful musical we saw last night said, "It's a Wonderful Life!"

Savor Every Moment

Well I can happily say that was started as an extremely stressful week has ended quite nicely. And I am so beyond thrilled that I have to just push through two more days of school and one day of work and then I am free! Monday was a rough day as I took into account all my schooling, work, dating, etc., and it was really weighing down on me. But with the help of my mom, my roommates, my friends, and most importantly my Heavenly Father, I made it through...maybe by the skin of my teeth, but it happened. And the week went by relatively quickly too, which is way nice!

As far as the weekly highlights go, I'll pick maybe three or four from these last two weeks and go with that. So here it goes:

1. I skipped class!
Whoo! Haha, but seriously it was extremely needed. After my stress fest on Monday I realized that I needed to catch up on my life. So I skipped my first two classes and just got work done. We also had clean checks so I took the time to work on my homework, clean and actually get ready. It was a great morning and I felt so much better afterward. I went to my last class and then headed to work. Sometimes you just need those kind of catch up days. I felt like a college dropout though. Hence the picture. Haha :)

2. Dating!
Ahh, so this has been interesting. There's a guy that asked me out a week ago and he's got me a little smitten. It's been fun getting back into the dating scene, and getting to know him. I can't and won't divulge any details at this point until things progress or don't, but here's to hoping he likes me too.

3. Temple sessions!
These last two weeks my roommate and I have been able to attend the temple on Saturday and it has been such a blessing! I love the temple and the feeling of being home when I am there. I love going and feeling like Heavenly Father and Christ are welcoming me home. Ahh, it's so hard to explain how big of a blessing it is in my life, but I always feel like I can take on the world when I leave. This week especially was just incredible and I was in the best mood the whole day because of it. If you're not regularly attending the temple, I encourage you to prioritize it.

I was reading a talk during the sacrament today called "Savor Every Moment of Life" and I can't remember who it's by at the moment, but there was a part that really struck me. I was thinking about how sometimes we get into ruts of thinking, "Oh, my life would be so much better if 'this' had happened/was happening/would happen..." or "Well if we were dating" or "if I was married...", and the list can go on and on, but as I was reading and pondering this talk, I realized that I had picked it because of it's title for a reason. Anyone who knows me knows that sometimes I have a hard time calming myself down or not thinking about every possible detail concerning something. This was brought to a minimal while I was on my mission for some reason, but it's slowly starting to creep on me again since I've been back and I hate it. The title "Savor Every Moment of Life" stood out to me because I realized that Heavenly Father was telling me just to relax, trust in Him, and learn to be happy and content in my circumstances, whatever they may be.

There's a quote from this article that I would specifically like to share (although I recommend reading the entire talk). To give a little background (if I remember right), there's a couple who are attending some kind of fireside and what not, and the Hollands are speaking. Elder Holland is speaking and the man that was narrating said, "[I laughed to myself] at their amusing counsel to not 'march to an arbitrary drummer who seems to be beating a frenzied cadence to the passing years' and to trust in the timing of the Lord. But tears came to my eyes as I heard, 'Life ought to be enjoyed at every stage of our experience and should not be hurried and wrenched and truncated and torn to fit an unnatural schedule which you have predetermined but which may not be the Lord's personal plan for you at all,' and 'Don't wait to live...We of all people ought to savor every moment.'" I thought that was absolutely beautiful and I am so grateful to have learned a powerful lesson from the Lord. That no matter where I am, what I am doing, or where I am going, if I trust in Him and seek to follow His guidance and counsel in my life than I can truly learn to savor every moment of my life, whatever it may be, instead of waiting for other things to happen for my life to be "better".

It Will All Work Out

Happy Veteran's Day!

Oh the joys of college life. So many weird and interesting experiences. So many memories. And so many times when you want to hit your head against the wall...it's healthy thing, I promise. It puts my brain back in its place. This last week was crazy which I guess is my new normal, so what else do you expect?

In case any of you are wondering, one of the most entertaining things in the world is watching videos of people after they get their wisdom teeth taken out... I'm telling y'all, it'll make your day! 

Anyway, I like the whole highlight thing so we'll do that again. Here's the top three of my week: 

1. Working overnight

So N & E (I decided it would would be better not to expose the entire names of my boss's family anymore so the letters will suffice with a brief description) who are the dad and then the 10 year old daughter went to India this last week for 10 days and since they were gone C asked me stay a few days with them until her mom got there. So Monday through Wednesday night I was able to stay at the house and help them out a little more with the nightly routine. B was so cute with me and reminded me so much of Sierra and has multiple times since they're the same age. Everytime she went to leave to go dance or anywhere she would hurry and say "love you!" before running out the door.  I flippin love that little girl and she really knows how to win my heart! So grateful for the tender mercies Mom referred to when we were talking about how blessed I am to have that job and be so close to them, especially B since I can't be home right now. 

2. Les Miserables 

I finally saw Les Mis! I know, small accomplishment, but now I finally understand what everyone is talking about! Haha We're reading the abridged  version for my humanities class and before I read it I kinda wanted to have a good background/idea about what the story was actually about before just diving right in. 

And the verdict is (drum roll please!)...

 I LOVED IT!  

I absolutely loved it! I thought it was incredible and totally. Totally worth the watch in case you're wondering! 

3. I Cover

Saturday night my roommates Amanda and Kylie came with me to I Cover on campus. It was a big concert almost like battle of the battles between and it lasted 3 hours! Plus there was a dance afterward! We were a little late, but it was alright because we were there a long time!  Then we stayed at the dance until about 1030 before heading home. It was way fun and I absolutely loved spending time with some of my roomies. And I can't forget that I loved the fact that I got to hear a super attractive male accapella group 😍 definitely on my top ten favorite things list. 

I also was thinking a lot about my favorite scripture in Proverbs 3:5-6 which talks about trusting in the Lord. It dawned on me as I was thinking about this though how often Heavenly Father has blessed me in my life when I've trusted in Him. Reviewing the choices that I've made in my life and how much the Lord has guided me and helped me. I also had a huge realization that there is nothing in my life that I should worry about because if I trust in Him and keep all of His commandments then everything will work out. It will always work out. So stop worrying, don't fret, trust in God and it will all work out.

Highlights :)

Here we are again! Here's the wrap up of the past couple weeks. I can't believe it's already Sunday again though, like for real! Only 7 more Fridays til Christmas, guys. We can do it!


So that I don't write a novel in one blog post we'll do some HIGHLIGHTS! Ready? :)

#1 The Piano Guys
Last Saturday I had the amazing opportunity to see The Piano Guys in concert. I went by myself cause no one else wanted to pay for the tickets, but honestly I'm kind of glad I did. Being there by myself allowed me to completely focus on the emotional roller coaster the show put me through. Haha I mean I know that sounds a little pathetic, but I have seriously never been so moved before by a concert. I laughed, I cried, and I felt the spirit. It was so entertaining and I absolutely loved Jon and Steven's banter back and forth, especially since Steven plays the cello, not a piano. Overall, I am so grateful for the chance to go and I love that I had such a wonderful experience. Definitely in the top 5 of awesome stuff this semester!

#2 Yellowstone Trip
On Monday I went to Yellowstone for the first time in my entire life. I've heard people talk about it my entire life, but I've never really been interested in going. Thankfully, for my comm class we had the privilege of going this last week, and let me just say it was absolutely beautiful! We left at 7 a.m. from the school and by the time we arrived in West Yellowstone around 8:30 it was clear to all of us it was going to be a winter wonderland kinda day. The snow had fallen the night before and left a white glistening glow. It was almost as if none of us really wanted to walk anywhere where the majestic picture perfect winter land would be devastated in any way.

The morning was a little rough since we didn't know whether we were going to be able to get into the park or not, but around 11:30 they finally informed us that the southeastern part of the park would be opened after all. We were excited to finally see what we had gone all the way up there for. It took time and various stops, but I became more enthralled and genuinely enchanted each step of the way. It was absolutely beautiful and I am so glad I was able to go.