I really shouldn't be taking the time to do this right now. I have 2 assignments and 3 finals left to study for, but since I got out of class 45 minutes early I guess we'll say I'm just using that time. I can't believe the end is so near.
As I sat at the luncheon for the graduates of our major today it started to hit me. Tomorrow is my last day of classes at BYU-I ever. Today and tomorrow will be the last time I see pretty much everyone I've gotten to know in the last 4 years in person. It'll be the last time I interact with my teachers. The last time I tutor. The last time I walk up and down the stairs of the Smith and the Clarke 400 times a day. It'll be the last of the "see you later"s and the first of the "goodbye"s. I may have moved a lot in my life, but I will never be good at goodbyes.
As a student you always hope and pray for the day when you'll be done. When you'll be able to walk across the stage with family and friends cheering you on for all that you've accomplished in the last 4 years and get handed that coveted diploma cover with nothing inside. But when it truly comes down to it, there is a small part of you that wants to hold on and not leave. There's something familiar and comfortable about where you're at and it's hard to let that go. But there is no growth in the comfort zone so we all need to let go eventually.
See, I think the thing that's hardest for me is that at this point Rexburg is home. Sure, my home is where my family is, but my life has been here for a long time now. Although Reno still has Rexburg beat in the longest length of time I've lived anywhere, I can honestly say I've gone through the most here.
In the time I have been here at school I have lived away from home for the first time. I have decided to serve a mission and come back. I've found my passion and switched into a major I love. I have made the best of friends, and I've lost some too. I've grown in my testimony and in my knowledge of the gospel. I've learned more about myself and the world around me than in any other circumstance or place. I found my first love and my last. I fell in love with a man who I never imagined I would find, who then asked me to marry him and I said, "Duh!" After getting engaged we planned our wedding, and found my dream dress here. We moved into our first apartment as a married couple. We made plans for the future, And now, in the same year that we got engaged and married, I will be walking at graduation and leaving this place behind. And that my friends, is why Rexburg and BYU-I will always have a special place in my heart. The most influential and important decisions of my life we prayed about and made here, in Rexburg.
As I said before, I'm no good at goodbyes. And it's true what Pres. Uchtdorf said about endings, "In light of what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder that whenever we face the bitter endings of life, they seem unacceptable to us? There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings.Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our destiny." Endings are not our destiny.
Because in this eternal progression of life it's bittersweet to leave things and people behind, but the point isn't to see them as an end. The point is to see them as amazing opportunities that shaped us and led us to new paths. To new paths that will help us become better and to grow. Because as much as we can't grow in our comfort zone it's more important that we learn to be comfortable in our growing zone. No matter where it will take us. There's a lot still ahead for us and although sometimes that seems a little scary, it's needed and can be so wonderful. So in the spirit of new beginnings I say bring it on- the really good stuff is still to come!
