As most of you know, I recently opened up about my breakdown to Austin the other night about being inadequate and comparing myself to other people, to my own expectation of what kind of person and wife I was supposed to be, and I even ventured to thoughts that maybe I was doing something wrong because our relationship or aspects of our relationship are different than friends or others I know.
My mom has been really good about teaching me that when thoughts of doubt or of comparing myself to others enter my brain that they are just from Satan trying to get me to forget that I am a daughter of God, and that I need to kick those thoughts right out. I have had this happen time and time again. Just because I know it's Satan doesn't mean that I can easily stop those thoughts. And even with my knowledge of the fact that I am a child of God, a daughter of God, and that I am so much more than what the world perceives of me or even what I perceive of me, those thoughts still come, they still stay, and they still get to me.
I've spent my whole life trying to live up to every expectation, every standard, every possible thing that anyone could ever want or expect from me, and the problem is that I expect way more out of myself than anyone. And the truth is, it's exhausting. It is absolutely exhausting feeling like you always have to be on your A game and that anything mediocre is just simply not going to cut it. I've spent my whole life looking like I've had everything together when I've felt like everything was falling apart. And it's in those times when I've felt like everything was falling apart and that I wasn't up to par that I let those thoughts from Satan trickle in.
I was in class today when something that my teacher (Rhet Dalling) said caught me off guard. He said, "We're caught up in the wrong things for the wrong reasons." And the reason why it caught me off guard is because he was talking about something completely unrelated to what I knew I would be sharing and opening up about, but it fit perfectly. The reasons why we get caught up in the wrong things is because we let ourselves move our priority of the most important things around because we become too wrapped up in things aren't nearly as important. How many of us have said, "Oh, I have so much to do," sat down to look at your list, gotten on Facebook or Instagram, etc, and realized 15-60 minutes later that you haven't gotten anything done you planned to? This has happened several times to me, especially right before I go to read my scriptures.
Satan doesn't wave these temptations of sin right in front of our faces. He barely has to do anything when we constantly surround ourselves with things that are not of worth or as a matter of fact, our time. Dwelling in the world of social media can be damaging, even detrimental.
It's not necessarily that we sit there and constantly think, "Oh, I wish I looked like her," or "Oh my gosh, I would do anything to have a house like that," although it definitely could be! No, more often than not, we don't let ourselves recognize that most of what is posted on social media is the only the good. Hardly ever does someone post about their relationship problems, financial situation, or how they're struggling in school. And to be fair, that's probably a good thing. The best way to work through something [usually] is to work on it by yourself or with close family and friends, rather than bringing it all out in the public. The point of the matter here though is that we don't see behind the scenes. We don't see the every day struggles, the tears and frustration, the messes, the other 50 selfies, etc, we only see what they want us to see. And when we choose to read posts and look at pictures without recognizing that, we put ourselves in a position to let thoughts of self doubt, inadequacy, and constant comparison creep in.
Now the question remains: How do we stay positive and confident in an Instagram world?
Well, I should start of by saying, I don't have all the answers. But I do have wonderful family, friends, mentors, and others that I look up to that have reached out and given some advice along the way. And at the very top of that list, is our Heavenly Father. He has provided so much for us. Many people would say that something like this has nothing to do with God or religion, and to them I say it has everything to do with it.
Al Fox Carraway in a recent blog post said, "My point is we are sometimes in need of a reality check. Do more than just exist. Let’s refocus, often, on who we truly are and what we need to be doing. Refocus on the reality of being a living soul that can never die. We have ‘forever’ built into our genes."
Part of refocusing and prioritizing is remembering who we are and why we're here (does that ring a bell to anyone? Hello Plan of Happiness!). We need to remember that we are sons and daughters of God- a Heavenly being who has given us so much and in doing so wants us to realize that we are divine and have a divine potential! He wants nothing more than for us to succeed and do our best. He has given us the tools, but it's up to us if we use them or not.
I think honestly, the biggest and sometimes hardest part is really just putting God back at the top of our priority lists. Make time to read our scriptures, when we pray don't make it mundane, but seek out special help from Him to stay motivated in the tasks that need to be accomplished and not to get caught up in doing things that aren't important. I have a firm testimony that He is on our side, wants us to succeed, and will be right by our side if we seek His help. We need only ask. He loves us! We're His children, for goodness sake. He gave us His Only Begotten Son, who suffered and died for us, so that we could over come all things, including comparing ourselves to others and feeling inadequate. And if you don't have a firm testimony of that, I invite and encourage you to pray and ask God. He would love for you to know that for yourself.
Once we have put God back at the top of our list I can promise you that everything else will flow much smoother and get much better. It's amazing what we can do with God on our side. The important step now is to remember to minimize distractions. Focus on the other things that need to be done, but don't get overwhelmed! Make a list, break it down. Are there things that need to be done now or today, but others that can wait until later or tomorrow? Then separate those out and do the ones that are immediate. Just do what you can and don't worry about the rest. Also, don't put yourself in a position where you're going to be overwhelmed right from the start. Remember that God never intended for us to be so busy that we don't have time for Him. And I might add or our families or ourselves.
That leads to my next point. I think it's crucial that we make time to relax, to be worry free, even for a time. Obviously a great place to do this is at the temple. But I also think it's important to take the time to physically rest and rejuvenate. It's amazing what a 20 minute bubble bath can do. Free your mind, do something you enjoy, and I would encourage that during this time, avoid using social media.
Although I may not be able to take my own advice as easily on this one, I would also suggest limiting social media usage. I might add as a side note too, avoid talking to others where the conversation can get comparative. Just stick to catching up and being there for one another. Don't talk about specifics of your relationship with your significant other. Limiting social media will provide ways for all of us to find our old hobbies or create new ones. This will allow inspiration to flow from within us (and obviously from God), that will make us happier and more confident, not only within ourselves but in our lives too. We will be able to view our lives again in a more eternal sense and will recognize that we are worth far more than some simple likes on facebook or instagram. Our relationships will improve all around and we will start to shine again.
So what are we waiting for people? Let's get our sparkle and shine back!
Part of refocusing and prioritizing is remembering who we are and why we're here (does that ring a bell to anyone? Hello Plan of Happiness!). We need to remember that we are sons and daughters of God- a Heavenly being who has given us so much and in doing so wants us to realize that we are divine and have a divine potential! He wants nothing more than for us to succeed and do our best. He has given us the tools, but it's up to us if we use them or not.
I think honestly, the biggest and sometimes hardest part is really just putting God back at the top of our priority lists. Make time to read our scriptures, when we pray don't make it mundane, but seek out special help from Him to stay motivated in the tasks that need to be accomplished and not to get caught up in doing things that aren't important. I have a firm testimony that He is on our side, wants us to succeed, and will be right by our side if we seek His help. We need only ask. He loves us! We're His children, for goodness sake. He gave us His Only Begotten Son, who suffered and died for us, so that we could over come all things, including comparing ourselves to others and feeling inadequate. And if you don't have a firm testimony of that, I invite and encourage you to pray and ask God. He would love for you to know that for yourself.
Once we have put God back at the top of our list I can promise you that everything else will flow much smoother and get much better. It's amazing what we can do with God on our side. The important step now is to remember to minimize distractions. Focus on the other things that need to be done, but don't get overwhelmed! Make a list, break it down. Are there things that need to be done now or today, but others that can wait until later or tomorrow? Then separate those out and do the ones that are immediate. Just do what you can and don't worry about the rest. Also, don't put yourself in a position where you're going to be overwhelmed right from the start. Remember that God never intended for us to be so busy that we don't have time for Him. And I might add or our families or ourselves.
That leads to my next point. I think it's crucial that we make time to relax, to be worry free, even for a time. Obviously a great place to do this is at the temple. But I also think it's important to take the time to physically rest and rejuvenate. It's amazing what a 20 minute bubble bath can do. Free your mind, do something you enjoy, and I would encourage that during this time, avoid using social media.
Although I may not be able to take my own advice as easily on this one, I would also suggest limiting social media usage. I might add as a side note too, avoid talking to others where the conversation can get comparative. Just stick to catching up and being there for one another. Don't talk about specifics of your relationship with your significant other. Limiting social media will provide ways for all of us to find our old hobbies or create new ones. This will allow inspiration to flow from within us (and obviously from God), that will make us happier and more confident, not only within ourselves but in our lives too. We will be able to view our lives again in a more eternal sense and will recognize that we are worth far more than some simple likes on facebook or instagram. Our relationships will improve all around and we will start to shine again.
So what are we waiting for people? Let's get our sparkle and shine back!
*All images were taken from Pinterest and are not mine
